Positive Identity

My father-in-law sent us an email the other day saying that he has sent a sample of his DNA to the National Geographic Genographic Project. The purpose of this project is to trace your ancestry through scientific means. By use of DNA testing, you get to have an idea of where you came from and who your ancestors were. Pretty cool stuff if you ask me. Everyone likes to have an idea of who they are and where they fit in the world.

Parents need to work hard to help their children feel a positive sense of identity. When a child feels loved and nurtured, they form a very stable identity and sense of self-worth. The way you respond to the mistakes, successes, and day to day activities of you child build either a good or bad self image in them. People who have a positive sense of self are better equipped to handle life, and especially crisis.

The Search Institute, www.search-institute.org, has some great suggestions on how to develop a positive identity through your child’s life.

 

AGE                Ways To Encourage Positive Identity Formation

0-2                   Love, respect, and accept children unconditionally

Delight in each child’s unique personality

Create positive interactions. Play together in ways that make infants laugh and enjoy the time together.

2-3                   Focus on the behavior: do not blame children when correcting their inappropriate behavior.

                        When children say phrases such as “Me do it,” let them.

                        Create an atmosphere that is loving, supportive, and affirming so that children enjoy and feel good about their environment.

4-5                   Encourage children to take pride in their cultural heritage.

Break new tasks into small, manageable steps that children can master without becoming too frustrated.

Use positive and encouraging phrases around children. For example, say “Let’s try it” instead of “That won’t work” or “That’s too hard.”

6-10                Respect the decisions that your child makes.

Focus on your child’s strengths and encourage him or her in these areas.

Encourage children to seek out answers and solutions when they face obstacles or difficult times.

11-15              Encourage children to explore and experiment within his or her areas of interest and ability.

Expect your child to experience ups and downs of self-esteem during these years.

Avoid comparing your child with others.

16-18              Continue to support your teenager as they continue to struggle with a sense of self identity.

Show your teenager the positive possibilities in his or her future.

Delight in your teenager’s talent’s capabilities, and discoveries. Share your delight.